Part Three - "Ek Lotey Ki Aatmkatha"

Kapil Sharma

Eskey baad mere upar se mano gandgi gujri, kisi ne meri taraf aankh uthakar bhi nahi dekha, haan kuch logon ne mere upar thuka zaroor, shukr hai ki koi paizaama upar karkey meree oopar laghushanka ka nivaaran karney nahi baitha kyuki, gaur se dekhengey to aapko pata chalega ki yeh desh ek vishaaltam mootri hai jismey log jab chahey, jahan chahey, paizamey ka paichan upar karkey baith jaatey hain, aur apni choti-badi sabhi samsyaon ka samadhaan kar lete hain.

Lekin yeh meri kahani ka ant nahi hai, kyunki, ek din shahar me jabardast safai abhiyaan chala, jismey poorey shahar ki jabardast safaai ki gayi, usi dauraan saubhagya se us naali ki bhi safai ki gayi, aur mujhey bhi mano gandgi ke saath us nali se nikaal liya gaya.

mujhey nikalney waaley ne fauran pahchaana ho aisa nahi lagta, kyunki kaafi din me sadak ke kinarey pada hua sukhta raha aur kisi ne mujh par koi dhyan hi nahi diya, phir jisney mujhey nikala tha, usi ne mujhey uthaya dhoya aur apney ghar le gaya,aur yahin se mere jeevan ka ek naya adhyaay shuru hua,

Mere naye maalik ka naam Naseeruddin ansaari tha......

Yahan se merey jeevan ka woh hissa shuru hota hai jisey me apney jeevan ka ujla hissa samajhta hoon, yun kahiye ki ye mera personal renaisa tha, nasruddin shahar ka safai karmchari tha, lekin woh sirf safai karmchari hi nahi tha, woh ek krantikari mazdoor union ka garjdaar neta bhi tha, mujhey to ashchary hota tha ki woh aadmi din me shahar ki naaliyan saaf karkey aata hai aur raat ko apney doston ke saath baith kar kisi lenin aur marx ki kitaab padhta tha, aur zordaar bahas karta tha.

wahin mujhey pahali baar class, dclass aur sangharsh ke asli karno ka pata chala, pata nahi apney marx ko padha hai ya nahi par mey to uskey baarey mei hi sun kar un par fida ho gaya, woh kya naara hai, duniya ke mazdooron ek ho, tumharey paas khoney ke liye sirf apni bediyan hain lekin paaney ke liye saari duniya hai. WAH, WAH, WAH maan gaye sar ji, maan gaye kamaal kar ditta, mei balihaari jaun, is ek naarey pe saara jeevan kurbaan. 

lekin baat mere  naye ghar ki aur uskey malik ki thi, to aam ghar tha bas yahan kitabein bahut zyada thi, jo bhi aata tha yaa to kuch padhta hua aata tha, yaa aa kar kuch paddhney lagta tha, ghar sabkey liye khula tha, koi raat ko 2 bajey aa raha hai, to koi subah 4 bajey chala aa raha hai, kisi ka koi thikana hi nahi tha, jiski marzi ho kichen me jaakar chai bana lata tha, aur sabsey badi baat ki wahan hasney waalon ki kami nahi thee, sabsey badi baat ki wahan sab aazad they, 

yahan ek baat bataana zaroori hai, yahan mujhey pahali baar yeh bhi pata chala ki aakhir merey kitni tarah ke istemaal ho saktey hain, logon ne mujhey chai peeney, chai banaaney se lekar daal sabzi banaaney tak mey istemaal kiya hai, aur aisa mey kisi naarazgi key saath nahi kah raha, asal me wahan ka mahaul hi aisa tha ki khud hi lagta tha ki kisi bhi tarah is ladai me shamil ho jao, kuch to karo, sach kahun mujheyapney is maalik se bhi pyar ho gaya tha, woh kahata tha, khuda agar kahin hai to is duniya ko usney nahi banaya ho sakta, yeh to kisi shaitaan ka kaam lagti hai, warna to duniya khubsurat, aur ujaas hoti, mazdoor ko uska poora haq milta, aur kisi ko bhi sataaya nahi jata........

Woh log ek doosrey ko comrade kahtey they, mujhey nahi pata ki iska kya matlab hota hai, lekin itna accha lagta tha ki agar aapki izzazat ho to mei bhi, sirf ek baar, apney naam ke aagey comrade laga loon, bada man kar raha hai, comrade lota, wah wah, maza aa gaya.

mainey us ghar me bahut kuch seekha, prem, dosti, sangharsh, imaandari aur woh saari cheezein jo insaan banney ke liye zaroori hoti hain, nasruddin ko bhi prem tha, katai azeeb kism ka prem tha, uski ek comrade aur woh ek doosrey ko pasand kartey they, lekin yeh azeeb kism ka isqu tha, lagta tha ki dono ek doosrey ko pasand kartey hain kekin phir dono ek doosrey se itni bahas kartey they ki taazub hota tha ki woh dono ek doosrey se prem kartey hain.Woh dono ek doosrey ke saath marney ki kasam nahi khatey they, balki saath saath jeeney ke mansubey banatey they. Bataiye aisey kisi aadmi se aapko pyar nahi ho jayga. mujhey un sabsy pyar ho gaya tha, com. gopi, com. naathu, com. utpal, com. priya, com. neeru, com. nazia, com. riaz.....kitney naam ginaun, un logon ne mujhey neechey se kaala kar diya tha, lekin ussey koi farq nahi padta tha, unhoney mujh par beinthaan kharochein laga di thi, lekin ussey bhi koi farq nahi padata. 

 Mujhey lagta tha ki merey jeevan ka maksad pura ho gaya hai aur me ab whain rahunga, (sigh) lekin aisa nahi tha. Useey maar diya, uskey comrade doston ne kaha ki woh shahid hua hai, lekin me kahata hun ki uski hatya hui, meiney apni aankhon se dekha, usey, din dahadey, badi berahami se goli maari gayi.

Aapko to yaad hoga, aap akhbaar padhtey hi hain, aapko yaad hoga kis tarah police ne kuch 'khunkhar' aatnakwadion ko muthbhed me maar giraya tha, jiskey liye police ko bakaayda medal bhi miley they, unhi khunkhaar aatankwadion me sey ek mera malik comrade nasruddin ansari bhi tha.

us din shanivaar tha, yeh mujhey isliye pata hai kyunki shanivaar ko com. nasru ki chutti rahati thi aur woh apney baki com. doston ke saath koi kitab padhkar us par bahas karey they, us din woh mao naam ke kisi shaks ki ktab padhney waaley they, teen log aa chukey they aur baaki aaney waaley they, mei gas ke paas baitha hua un logon ke jutney aur phir kitaab padhey jaaney ka intzaar kar raha tha.

com. naseem ne mujhey paani peeney ke liye istemaal kiya aur fir khidki par rakh diya, wahin se thodi der baad mujhey dikha ki kuch police waley chupkey se upar aa rahey hain. mujjhey daal mey kuch kaala laga, lekin un logon ki befikri dekh kar mei khamosh raha, phir mujhey dikha ki gali ke mod par ek jeep ruki dikhai di, usmey see jaldi-jaldi kuch police waaley utrey, 

na  jaaney kyun mere dil me ek dar laga aur mene jor se cheekna chaha, lekin meri cheekh mere galey me hi ghut kar rah gayi, ki ek goli aayi aur Com. naseem jo khidki ke tek laga ke kadey they unkey sir ke parkhachchey uda diye, mere andar paani tha jismey woh khoon mil gaya, aur phir mey khoon se sarabor ho gaya, fir to jaisey kayamat barpa ho gayi.

ek saath kai police waaley andar ghus aaye aur unhoney aav dekha na taav baki ke logon ko ek kataar me bithaya aur un par golion ki bauchar kar di, charon taraf se goliyan chal rahi thi, aur unhi me se ek goli ek police waaley ko bhi lag gayi. kuch police waaley usey lekar bhagey, aur woh jisey goli lagi thi unhey jee bhar ke gaaliyan de raha tha. police waalon ne kamarey me mauzood sabko maar diya tha,woh apney saathi ko utha kar wahan se le gaye, aur kuch lamhon ke liye wahan khoshi cha gayi, aur tab mainey woh manjar dekha jisey koi bhi dekhta to uskey rongtey khadey ho jaatey, woh log jo jinda-dili ki misaal they, laash ban kar padey they, bejaan, behis, jinkey thahaakon se poora ghar gunjta tha, woh chup they, khamosh they.

fir kuch police waaley fir se andar aaye aur fir shuru hua, kahani banaaney ka daur, mai wahin tha, mujhey bhi ek saboot ke taur par rakha gaya tha, mainey dekha, kaisey-kaisey jhooth rachey gaye, kaisey-kaisey kissey banaye gaye, woh log jo jeena chahtey they, unhey maut ka saudagar bataya gaya, woh log jo sabko pyar kartey the unhey kaatil karaar diya gaya, jo police waala khud apni hi golion ka shikaar bana tha, yeh kaha gaya ki woh to u 'ATANKWADION' ki goli ka shikaar hokar shaeed hua haii, aur me sabut bana khamosh, us dramey ke ek-ek bhayanak chehrey ko ujaagar hota dekhta raha.

fir mujhey maalkhaney me jama karwa diya gaya, maalkhana us jagah ko kahtey hain jaha poolicewaaley us saaman ko rakhtey hain jisey woh baad me bech dena chahein, jisey neta log kaudiyon ke bhaav kharid lein. lekin me ek adna sa lota, ek aatankwaadi ke khoon se sarabor lota, kaun mujhey leta, kaun mujhey chunta, aur me aisey hi pada raha, apney malik com. nasru ko yaad karkey, uski jindadili ko, himat ko, yaad karkey khoon ke aanso rota pada raha usi maalkhaney me. aur naa janey aisey hi kitney saal gujar gaye.

fir ek din ek police waaley ne hi wahan se mujhey bahar nikala, ek garib se thaney me hi mujhey dhulwaaya aur, thaney ke peechey baney apney quater me mujhey le aaya.

usney mujhey meri pahli malkin ki tarah bhagwaan ke kaam ke liye rakh choda tha, lekin usko kya pata tha me com. nasru ke saath rahkar mai naastik ho gaya tha, mujhey bhagwaan me koi vishwaas nahi rah gaya tha. lekin majboori me mai police waley ka kaam karta raha aur apni ziindgi ke din kaat-ta raha.

To be continued in Part Four....Police wale ke Hatho mein Lote Ki Kahani

Part Two- "Ek Lotey Ki Aatmkatha"

Kapil Sharma
 
Us chor ne (jiska naam sitto tha, mujhey baad me pata chala) mujhey bahur se jholey mein se nikala aur apney pass rakhliya, pahaley to mujhey laga ki shayad woh mujhey chupa ke rakh lega. Lekin usey to paisey chahiye they, islier usney to mujhey fauran bech diya, woh ek choti se basti ki choti si dukan thi. Aur utna hi chota unlogon ka mol bahv tha.....dukaandar ne sitto se kaha, aur sitto kya maal le aaya, sitto bola, " arey lala motey walaa lota laaya hoon, jaldi se 40-50 nikal" aurr usney badi shaan se mujhey us dukaandar ke samney rakh diya. dukandar ne mujhey achchi tarah dekha parkha aur phi chup se tis rupey sitto ko diye, fir usney apni beti ko aawaz di, "REKHA" aur woh aayi, woh aayi to mere dil ki dhadkan ruk si gayi, usney mujhey uthaya, ghuma kar dekha, uskey baap ne usey fir andar jaaney ka ishara kiya, aur jo gaahak aa gaye they unhey sambhalney laga. Rekha mujhey apney saath andar le gayi, andar waley kamrey ki khidki ke paas, wahan khada tha sitto. "yeh tu laya hai" rekha ne pucha, "aur kya" sitto ne garv se kaha. "huh, tujhey kitni ber kaha hai koi bada haath maar warna tu aisey hi chindichori karta rahega aur mera baap mujhey kisi khsam ke haathon thama dega", "kya baat karti hai, kuch din ruk jaa, me sab intzaam kar lunga" "yeh soch lizo ki jab tak mujhey khub saarey paisey dikhai nahi dengey me kahin nahi jaaney ki" "par me tujhsey hi pyar karta hun" "haan haan, aur isi pyar ko tu abhi thekey pe botal mein daal kar piyega, dekh be, mere saath bhagnaa hai to intzaam kar, varna bhaag yahan se mujhey bahut kaam hai" "arey sun........." aur rekha ne khidki band kar di, pata nahi kyun par mey to us par fida ho gaya, tauba kasam kya ladki thi, aur aaney waley dino me to mujhey yakeen ho gaya ki ladki ho to aisi, kya kamaal ki ladki thi.

Main to kahta hoon ki agar ladkiyan aisi hi ho jayen to is duniya ka agaa peecha sab kuch badal jayega. arey bhai kamal ki ladki thi, beti thi to apni sharton par, premika thi to apni sharton par, tumhey rahana hai raho, nahi rahana bhaad me jao, uska rang sanwla tha, safed daant, aur chotey baal, jo usney apney baap se ladkar katwaye they, uskey haath khurdurey they, aur mujhey uskey haathon ka sparsh bahut achcha lagta tha, jab woh subsh-subah aata goothney ke liye mujhey istemaal karti thi to mujhmey ek kism ki garmahat si aa jaati thi, main pura din shaam ke un lamhon ke baarey mein sochtan tha jab woh aata goothegi, aur raat bhar subah ke un lamhon ke sapney dekhta tha jab woh aata goothegi,

Wahin rahtey huey mujhey uski aur sitto ki "bold lave story" ke baarey me pata chala, unki baatcheet ke tukdon se mujhey pata chali yeh kahani aisi thi ki aap bhi usy sun ke chowk padengey......

Unki batcheet aur baap beti ke beech samay samay par chalney wali takraar se Rekha ki jo kahani me jaan paya woh yeh thi ki rekha ki maa (jisy uska bap 'woh badchalan' kahata tha) kisi ek waqt me, jahir hai rekha ko paida karney ke baad mar gayi thi, aur uskey baap ne doosri shaadi nahi ki thi (mota, bhadda, surat se hi nalayak lagta tha, soch ke ahraj hota tha ki uski pahali shaadi kaisey ho gayi), rekha bina ma ke badi hui thi aur jaldi hi samajh gayi thi ki ladki ki umra se koi farq nahi padta, koi bhi mard, chahey woh bahar ka ho ya rishteydaar uska faydaa uthayega, agar mauka milega toh, lekin woh aisi ladki nahi thi ki roti, chupti, yaa bhaag jati, bahut chotey mein hi usney yeh strategy apna li ki agar koi rishteydaaar ya aur koi bhi uskey saaath, usey sahlaney, puchkarney, ya pyar karney ke bahaney, haath chaalaki karney ki koshish karta to woh apney paas ek lohey ki salai rakti thi jisey uski jaangh me ghused deti aur phir jor se chillaney lagti, dhirey dhirey logon ne dar ke marey uskey ghar aana hi band kar diya, ek uska baap tha, jo kisi bhi tarah uski shadi karkey usey nikal dena chahta tha, lekin uskey iradey kuch alag they, woh padi likhito nahi thi par paisey ginana jaanti thi, aur usney kuch paisey jama kiye huey they, usy pata tha ki agar usey apney bharosey rahana hei to uskey liye aamdani ka koi jaria talaashna hoga, ("yeh mera sochna tha" iskey alawa usney socha hoga ki akeli ladki IS samaj me to surakshit rah nahi sakti, isliye koi bhi , kaisa bhi, ek mard to chahiye, to uskey liye sitto tha) uska plan yeh tha ki sitto kahin bada haath maarey, aur usko 2-2.5 lakh rupye laakar de, aur woh kahin bhaag kar shaadi kar lein.

Aisi hi kisi basti me jaakar woh apney baap ki tarah dukaan khol ley aur phir (woh) sukh se rahey, kamaal ki baat yeh hai ki is sukh mein mainey kabhi, sitto ko shamil nahi dekha, uska maanana tha ki ek baar sitto se shaadi ho jaye aur uski dukan khul jaye to phir sitto jiye ya mar jaye usey koi farq nahi padta, aur yeh theek bhi tha.

Es saari equation me aapki middle class morality ko progreviness ki chataank bhar chuski ke saath bada haath marna, ya chori karna akhra hoga, kamaal yeh hai ki chori-cheena jhapti, in cheezon ko sabhi bura maantey hain, phir bhi agar koi cheez bazar bhav se sasti mil jaye to morality ko bina koi takleef diye woh cheez bejhijhak kharid li jaati hai, aapkey hi kai dost aapko chori ke camerey (digital) ya mobile phone ke safeistemaal ke tarikey batatey mil jayenge aur tab hamey koi farq nahi padta, lekin 'rekha ne aisa socha' yeh aapki moral tabiyat par thoda garaan guzra hoga.

Khair mujhey kya, mera to yeh kahana hai ki main to us ladki par clean bold out tha, woh apni zindgi apney haath mein lene ke liye kuch bhi karti mujhey usmey katai koi eitraaz nahi hota, ratti bhar bhi nahi.

Aur aakhir ek din sitto badi besabri se aakar khidki ke neechey khada ho gaya, rekha ne jab khidki kholi, to mujhey uska chehra dekhtey hi pata chal gaya ki usney bada haath maar liya hai, usney phusphusaatey huey rekha ko bataya ki uskey paas 1.5 lakh rupiya hai, rekha ne usey kaha ki woh market jaa rahi hai aur woh usey, badey pipe ke paas miley (yahan aapko yeh yaad rakhna hoga, ki mei jabsey is ghar me aaya tha, baahar nahi nikla tha, aur isliye mujhey nahi pata kia yeh bada pipe kya tha, ya kahan tha, par mujhey andaaza ho gaya tha ki yeh koi aisi jagah hogi, jahan koi aata jaata na ho) thodi der baad woh ghar se nikli aur kai patli galiyon se hoti hui basti ke baahar ki taraf chal di, mujhey usney kya kahkar apney saath rakha tha mujhey nahi pata,  bada pipe asal me paani ka woh pipe tha jisesey badi coloniyon ko paani pahuchaya jaata tha.

Sitto wahin baitha cigarette fhoonk raha tha, woh uth gaya , rekha uskey paas pahunchi tousney ek bag khola aur usme se ek sau ki aur ek pachaas ki gaddi nikali, aur ek soney ki chain nikali, rekhan ne paisey lekar apney jholey me daal liye, lekin jab usney chain ke liye haath badhaya to sitto ne kaha, "me pahana dun" ek baar to laga rekha usy mana kar degi, lekin kuch soch kar usney haan kar di, sitto ne apney panjon par uchak kar usey woh chain pahana di, lekin fir uska chra pakad liy aur usey chumney laga, rekha ne usy roka nahi, thodi der tak woh apney panjon ke upar khada hua rekha ko chumta raha, phir uski sans chad gayi,sayad thak gaya tha, usney dono haathon se pakad kar rekha ko neechey ki taraf kheencha aur apna ek haath uski girahbaan me daal diya, rekha ne thodi der iska bhi koi virodh nahi kiya, balki yun kahen ki iska koi notice hi nahi liya, lekin fir uska haath jhatak diya aur boli, "aaj hi nikalana hai, raat 11 bajey, jab mera baap dukan band karkey so jata hai, tab me niklungi, mujhey parli taraf, mil jaiyo, samjha" "huh.....haan....11 bajey......thodi der ruk na....." "......aaj raat ke baad tere saath hi rukna hai, hai na, phir............"

Jab rekha ghar wapas aa rahi thi to me yeh soch raha tha, ki main jo us ladki parr clean bold hun, kya mujhey jalan nahi hui, jawab to mere paas hai, nahi hui, lekin yeh nahi pata ki kyun, ho sakta hai hum loton ki jaat me jalan hoti hi na ho, ya yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki mujhey laga ho, laga ho kya, mujhey pata ho, ki rekha ne jo kiya woh ek plan ke tahat tha, mujhey to is baat ki khushi thi ki woh mujhey apney saath le jaaney wali thi us raaat.

Us raat jab uska baap dukan band karkey ghr me aakar late gaya to woh uthi aur usney apna kapdey waala jhola utha liya, me dar raha tha ki kahin mujhey le jaana na bhool jaye, aur aakhirkar usney mujhey utha kar apney jholey me daal liya. Main us din itna khush hua tha ki aaj tak utna khush nahi hua, ki ab sey woh ek azaad mahila hogi aur me us azaad mahila ka lota hounga.

Usney mujhey utha liya aur apney jholey me daal liya, mere alaawa uskey jholey me the kuch kapdey, sitto waley paisey, uskey baap ne jo zewar banwaye they, woh usney utha liye, ki woh to usi ke they, aur sabsye upar usney mujhey rkh lia. aur hum, yani me aur rekha har se niley aur railway station ki taraf chal padey, ab woh kya sapney dekhti, mei hi sapney dekh raha tha, (ab to yakin kar hi lijiye ki lotey ko bhi sapney aatey hi hain) mere sapno me bhavishya ke woh din aa rahey they ki kaisey, rekha mujhey badey pyar se utha kar meri madad se aata gunth rahi thi, yaa woh mujhmey paani pee rahi hai. aaaahaaa kya sapney they, wah wah, lekin achaanak hi mujhey laga ki me hawah me ud raha hoon, sapney dekhtey huey koi bhi awa me ud sakta hai, aap bhi kabhi na kabhi hawa me udey hongey, aur aap se kisi ne kaha hoga ki, zyada hawa me mat udo.

Lekin woh anubhav kuch aur hi tha, mera man hi nahi shareer bhi udta hua lag raha tha. aapko to kabhi sapney me udtey huey kahi aisa anubhav nahi hua hoga,kyun? mujhey laga kuch gadbad hai, GADBAD, to mainey apney sapney ko pause jiya, aur badi mehnat karkey aankh (ab tak aapney kalpana kar li hogi ki lotry ki aankh kahan hoti hogi) kholi, too mainey dekha ki mei sach me hawa me ud raha hoon, jaaney kya hua tha, lekin meri aankhon ke aagey se mera sapna auto me baitha hua sadak par teji se dauda jaa raha tha, aur me aisa shock hua ki mere to muh se aawaj nahi nikli, aur me sadak se jaa takraya, tab me bahut cheekha-chillaya, bahut tadpa chatpataya, lekin kuch kar nahi paaya.......... aur lagta hai rekha ne meri aawaz bhi nahi suni, kyunki naa to scooter ruka aur na hi koi mujhey uthaney aaya.............., aur aapko yaad hoga ki mere pair to they hi nahi ki mei khud bhagkar auto ko pakad pata.

Main ludhkta hua kinarey bani hui gandi naali me jaa gira, aur wahin pada-pada apney haalat par aansoo bahata raha.... 

To be continued in Part Three....

लानत है इस आधी-आदमी दुनिया पर

कैसे लोग है कैसा देश हैं
मैं जो आधी आबादी हूँ, मैं जो आधी ज़मीन हूँ
ना गर्भ में जीने का हक़ है, ना गर्भ के बाहर
गर्भ के अन्दर ही तय कर दी जाती है मेरी किस्मत
और गर्भ के बाहर है मेरी मौत
मेरे जिस्म के लोथड़े में ऐसा क्या है जो अलग है
जो मुझे अंधेरे में, गुमनामी के वजूद में धकेल देता है
मास का लोथड़ा तो तुम्हारे पास भी है , दो आँखें और दो हाथ तो तुम्हारे पास भी है
यह हैवानीयत यह बर्बरता कहाँ से पैदा होती है
की तुम बेशर्मी से मुझे अपनी हवस में रोदने के लिए तैयार हो जाते हो!!
की तुम कभी गर्भ में यह जानकार की मैं हूँ, मेरे वजूद को रोंद डालते हो
तो कभी बलात्कार के रूप में, तो कभी आन की आड़ में मुझे मार देना चाहते हो
तुम्हारे दिमाग की और तुम्हारे वजूद की हेसीयत इतनी ही है कि
तुम जानवर में बदल जाते हो
या तुम्हारे भगवान ने तुम्हे जानवर ही बनाया है!!
और धर्मो में कहते है, की आदमी समझदार है, और औरत बेवकूफ, आदमी सभ्य है और औरत असभ्य
लानत है इस आधी-आदमी दुनिया पर !! लानत है !!

Part One "Ek Lotey Ki Aatmkatha"

                                                                                               - Kapil Sharma

Aaj jab is andherey kamrey ke ghup andhiyarey mein mei itney kabaad se dhaka, daba aapko apni kahani sunaney ki koshish kar raha hoon tab lagta hai ki yeh kah dena bhar kafi nahin hai ki main ek lota hoon, jo kisi din factory se niklaa tha aur aaj apni upyogita poori karkey apney galaye jaaney ka intzaar kar raha hoon, balki mujhey toh lagta hai ki yeh baat ko galat tareekey se kahna hoga. Lekin zara rukiye, kahani ke is hissey par aap soch rahey hongey, "kya bakwaas hai, kya kiisi lotey ki bhi koi kahani ho sakti hai" lekin sach to yeh hai ki is duniya me har cheez ki koi na koi kahani hoti hi hai, zaroorat hai ek baar thoda sa ruk kar usey dekhney ki, jaananey ki, mahsoos karney ki. Ab sawaal yeh hai ki kya aap is Lotey ki woh kahani sunana chahengey, jo ho sakta hai aapkey liye ek bore masla ho, lekin merey liye to woh zindgi ki kahani hai, aap chahein to isey padh saktey hein, yaa naa padhna chahein to delete bhi kar saktey hain, aapki marzi hai, lekin meri maney to apni zindagi ke kuch pal nikaal kar is lotey ki aap beeti sun lijiye, taaki aap apni is chamakti damakti duniya ka woh veebhatsa chehra dekh sakein jo un pardon ke peechey chupa rahata hai jo har burai ko chupa ke rakhtey hain.

To kahan se shuru karun, us mine se jahan se mera dhatu nikala gaya, ya us factory se jahan meri dhalai hui, yaa dukaan se jahaan mein pahali baar bika tha…

Chaliye shuru karte hai...

Mujhey nahi pata ki main us dukaan mei kaisey pahuncha, bus yun samajh lijiye ki jab meri aankh(agar aap kalpna kar saktey hon ki agar kisi lotey ki aankh hoti to woh kahan hoti) khuli, yaa yun kahiye ki mainey hosh sambhala, to mainey khud ko us dukaan ke sabsey unchey shelf ki saaf, shafaaqu, nayi nakor paint ki hui choti sijagah par aaram se baitha paya, Tab yun lag raha tha ki mai duniya ka sabsey chamakdaar lota hoon, yun merey hi bagal mei kataar baandhey kai lotey baithey they, lekin unmey woh baat kahan thi, meri shining aur mera rutba kuch aur hi tha. Dukaan waala bahut bhala aur safaipasand aadmi tha, har ghantey aadhey ghantey mein ek baar kapda maar kar bartnoh ko chamkaata rahta tha, Khair mai to waisey hi chamakdaar tha, lekin sadak par dhool bahut thi… es desh mei ishwar ka pata nahi par dhool sarv-vyapi hai, suna hai videshon mei aisa nahin hai, wahan dhool, nahi hai, garibi aur berozgaari toh hai, shoshan aur atyachaar bhi hai, lekin woh log bahut chalaak hain aur dhool ki tarah jaldi hi in laanto se bhi nizaat paa lengey, chaliye humey kya, to main kahan tha, haan, main yu dukaan ki chamakdaar shelf par baitha hua tha aur dukaandar baar-baar mujhey saaf kar raha tha.

Haan, merey dil mei dheron armaan they, kabhi main sochta tha ki jo bhi mujhey kharidega main uski zindagi sawaar doonga, usey bharpoor khushi doonga (halaanki aapko yaad dilaney ki zaroorat nahin hai ki main aladin ka chirag nahin lota hoon) toh mere dil mein wahi sab armaan they jo kisi naye nakor lotey ke man mein ho saktey hai, (agar aap kalpna kar saktey hon ki agar kisi lotey ke koi armaan hotey to kya hotey).....oho, main bhoola aap to insaan ho, haan to main kuch  brief sa idea de deta hoon ki mere kya armaan they, mere armaan they ki main duniya ka, chalo woh bahut badi hai, Asia ka, nahi usmey kai desh aisey bhi toh hain jo lota istemaal nahi kartey, south asia ka, jismey se kuch mulk nikaal diye jaayen, jaisey, china, aadi, to us region ka jismey, India, Pakistaan, Bangladesh, Nepaal, Srilanka....etc aatey hain, us region ka sabsey mashoor lota ban jaaun, ab aap soch rahey hongey, bahut mahatwakanshi lota hai, lekin aap hi bataiye, jab yeh desh 14 gold laakar apna naam uncha kar sakta hai, kuch karey naa karey lekin olympic gold ki baabat soch sakta hai to ek lota apni shohrat ka daayra kyun nahi badha sakta. To mera bas yahi armaan tha, jaisa ghalib ne kaha hai, 'Chand taarey tod laun, saari duniya par me chaaun, bas itna saa khwab hai, bas itna saa khwaab hai' kya kaha yah galib ka nahi hai, oof, kaisey kaisey log hotey hain, bataiye, mainey yeh jiskey muh se suna tha woh isey galib ka sher bata raha tha, khair yeh sher merey dil ke armaaan to bata hi deta. Toh main dukaan par baitha "apni" khuli aankon se sapney dekha rha tha ki dukaan ke saamney ek scooter aakar ruka.

Scooter bahut naya nahi tha, waisa hi tha jaisa ki aam middle class gharon mein dekhney ko mil jaata hai, aur scooter ke malik bhi middle class hi they, khair mujhey koi fark nahi padta kyunki, tab tak mujhmey varg chetna nahi thi, to mujhey yah nahi pata tha ki logon ka varg kitna iportant hota hai, woh to jab ek sahab ke ghar pahuncha to wahan aksar vaeg chetna aur varg sangharsh kibaatein hoti rahati thi, tab mujhey pata chala ki varg kya hota hai, par yeh baat to mein aappko aagey bataney wala hoon, abhi to kahani ko jaari rakhtey huye, mei aapko bata raha tha ki, scooter par aaney waley log middle class ke they, mahila thodi nati aur bhari shareer ki thi, purush bhi theek thaak bhari tha, lekin dono ko apney shareer ke bhaaipan par koi eitraaz ho aisa nahi lagta tha. Dono bartno ki us dukaan par lota hi kharidney pahuchey they, to unhoney loton ko lekar bhav tav karna shuru kiya, ek taraf to mera man kar raha tha ki meri taraf dhekha jaye aur doosri taraf mein unkey saath nahi jaana chata tha, mujhey lagata tha ki mujhey to kisi ameer admi ke saath jaana chahiye, lekin jab main yeh sab soch raha tha tabhi dukandaar ne haath badha kar mujhey utha liya aur ek jhatkey se us aadmi ke haath mein de diya. Us aadmi ne bhi mujhey thodi der ulat palat kar dekha aur pir mujhey mahila ke haath mein de diya, halaanki mujhey issy pahaley kisi mahila ne haath mein nahi liya tha lekin fir bhi us mahila ka mujhey is tarah tol mol kar dekhna achcha nahi laga, unhoney dukandaar ke saath bahut molbhaav kiya, ek baar to aisa laga ki woh bina kuch liye hi wahan se chaley jayenge,  lekin akhirkaar unhoney mujhey kharid hi lia. ( mujhey baad me pata chala ki yeh molbhaav karney ka tarika hota hai, ki aap, yani graahaq, dukan chod kar jaata hai, phir palat'ta hai, phir kuch mol bhav karta hai, phir dukaan chodh kar jaata hai, aur aakhir mein, apney bhav par samaan kharidta hai) to jisahab un logo ne, yani scooter waley middle class dampatti ne mujhey kharid liya, pata nahi kitney paisey diye, us waqt to mujhey paisey ka bhi koi hisab kitab pata nahi tha. Aur us aurat ne mujhey bahut berahami se apney jholey mein ghused diya, pahaley to laga ki yeh mein kahan aa gaya, lekin phir apney aas-paas ka zaayza liya to laga ki, muuliyon, aaluon, aur pyaz ke beech mujhey surakshit rakha gaya tha.

Scooter dhad-dhadaatey huye chalney laga aur woh pahala sagar tha jo mujhey pasand aaya, aisa lag raha tha ki jaisey mein kisi hindoley par bithkar bahut tezi se safar kar raha hoon. Aur pahaley chaudi sadak, khuli hawa, phir kuch choti sadak aur kuch band hawa, aur aakhir me ek badboodaar gali mein unka makaan aaya, aur scooter ruka...........

Makan kya tha, do kamarey they jinmey upyogita ka koi vishesh antar nahi tha, kabhi, ek kamara dayein tha, ek bayein tha, ya yun kah lein ki ek kamra aagey tha aur rk kamra peechey ki taraf tha. kuch log is kamrey ko bedroom ki tarah istemaal kartey they to kuch yahi kaam doosrey kamrey me kartey they, lekin gaur karney wali baat yeh hai ki unki aapas ki baat cheet mei unhey ptz hi hota tha ki baat kis kamrey ki ho rahi hai, isliye jab ghar aakar us mahila ne usi berhmi se mujhey jholey ke bahar nikala to apni bahu se kaha, "is lotey ko us kamrey me rakh do" aur uski bahu ne bina kuch sochey samjhey mujhey utha liya aur le jaakar doosrey kamrey mei rakh diya. Aur yahi baat us raat us bahu ke pitney ka kaaran bani.

Asal karan to mujhey baad mein samajh aaya, woh mahila chahti thi ki uski bahu kisi aisey khandaan (yahan ghar padhiyega) se hoti jo uskey ghar ko (yahan do kamrey ka makaan padhiyega) khusyion (yahaan daulat aur gahaney jewar kapdey aadi padhiyega) se bhar deti, kyunki uska beta to laakhon me ek (yahan ausat sharif aadmi) padhiyega. raat ko bada drama hua, khana wana kha ke woh mahila andar aayi, usney lota dekha jo khidkinuma chaukhat ke aaley par rakha hua tha, aur aasmaan sir par utha liya, bahu ko khoob kosa gaya, uskey poorey khandaan me kisi ko tameez nahi hai kaha gaya, aur tabhi mujhey pata chala ki mohalley ke koney par ek amndir hai, aur mujhey roj subah wahan jal chadhaney ke liye kharida gaya hai, aur us (badtameez, kulakshni, saat ghar khau) bahu ne mujhey aisye hi aaley par rakh diya tha, woh to us ghar ke log samajhdaar they ki kisi ne mujhey haath nahi lagaya tha aur meri pavitrta nasht nahi hui thi. Raat ko 2 ghantey tak yah chalta raha, jismey kam se kam 5 baar us mahila ne apni bahu ko suggest kiya ki woh jahar khakar mar jaye taki woh apney betey ki doosri shadi kar sakey aur apna ghar 'khushiyon se bhar sakey'

Pati theek thaak tha, bas maa se kuch bolta nahi tha, aakhir kisi bhi sharif ladkey ko aapni biwi kitarafdaari nahi karni chahiye, mardangi ka yahi usool hai, usey motry taur par apni biwi se koi shikayat nahi thi, bas woh ek achcha ladka tha jo apni maa ka achcha beta bana rehna chahta tha, ismey uska to koi kasoor nahi tha. khair aap meri suniye, doosrey din se shuru hua meri upyogita ka daur, woh mahila 5-5.30 par uthi, mujhey badi berahami se manja, aur mujhmey paani bhar ke mandir ki taraf chal di.

Mandir mein meri upyogita paani chadhana kam aur us mahila ke paas padey rahana zyada thi. Ab aap hi batayein kisi lotey ke liye yeh kitna apmaanjanak mamla hoga ki usey poorey din me sirf ek baar isteymaal kiya jaye aur phir poori pavitrta ke saath upekshit chodh diya jaye. Lekin merey saath yahi hua. Mein har roz subah uthaya jata, gardan pakad kar badi berahami se,poorey kasaipan ke saath mujhey manja jata, itni berahami se ki kai baar to meri chamdi chil jaati thi. aap kabhi us mahila ko mujhey manjtey dekhtey to aaapko lagta ki jaisey koi badla le rahi ho, mujhey ragadtey huey uskey cherey par aisey bhaav hotey they ki agar kabhi galti se kisi lotey ke pair hotey to woh bhaag khada hota.lekin, afsos(huh) ki merey pair nahi they, isliye, roz mujhey manja jata, roz mujme paani bharke mujhey mandir le jaya jaata, aur roz me us mahila ki god me pada rahata, aur uski baatein sunta rahata tha.

Wahan baith kar us mahila ki batein suntey huye aisa lagta tha jaisey us ki bahu se zyada buri aurat is poori duniya mein koi na ho, aur woh mahila mandir mein baith kar itna jooth bolti thi ki lagta tha jaisey mandir naam ki jagah hoti hi buraiyon ka ghar hai. Mainey jitna jhooth, chori, vyabhichaar aur duniya bhar ke tamaam burey kaam mandir mein dekey utney aur kahin nahin dekhey.

Us mahilake saath ek aur mahila thi, jo us ki har baat sunti thi aur gunti thi, woh mahila lagataar isharon isharon mein hi meri pahali malkin ko yeh batati rahati thi ki kaise woh apne 'saput' ki doosri shaadi kar sakti thi. Lekin gadi yahin aakar atak jaati thi ki aajkal ek se zyada shadiyan karney par saza ho jati hai, ( halaanki itney se bhi koi manta nahi hai). ek din hua yeh ki doosri mahila ne pahali mahila ko kaha ki kyun na woh apni bahhu ko maar de, suna aapney, mandir me baithkar woh dono mahilayein yah yojna bana rahi thi ki kis tarah apni grihlaxmi ka katl karkey woh apney betey ki doosri shaadi karwa sakti hain, main itna shock hua ki us aurat ki god se uchal kar neechey jaa gira, kash ki us waqt merey pair hotey to main fauran wahan se bhaag khada hota, meney apney purey jeevan me apney peir na honey ka itna afsos kabhi nahi hua, khair.

Mujhey umeed thi ki woh auratein apney in napaak iradon se baaz aa jayengi, lekin afsos ki isa nahi hua, woh nahi mani, main us moti ke sath roz madir le jaya jaata raha, aur unki saari sazish ka gawah bana raha, kaash ki main us masoom ladki ko bata sakta, kaash usey bacha sakta.

Pahley se hi kisi aur mazboor ladki ke baap se baat karkey sab tai kar liya gaya, phir saajish hui, us ladki ki hatya karney ki.

Mujhey woh raat bilkul saaf taur par yaad hai, us raat me bahut dara hua tha, kyunki mandir me subah hi yeh plan ban chuka tha ki aaj raat bahu ko thikaney laga dena hai, aur raat jab zyada kaali ho gayi thi, tab maa betey ne milkar us bachchi ko daboch liya, baap ne us par mitti ka tel dala aur ma ne aag laga di, ufffffffff, kya dil dahala dene wala drishya tha, main aaj bhi us manjar ke baarey me sochta hoon to mere rongtey khadey ho jaatey hain, woh bachchi kitna tadpi, chikhee chillayi, lekin roz mandir jaakar peepakl mei jal dene wali us aurat ka dil nahi paseeja, ek baar ko to me hi uchal pada, thoda uchalkoood bhi machaya, lekin mujhey daba diya gaya, mujhey daba diya gaya.......

Main kya kahun, ek lotey ka dil ro raha tha, aur teen vahashi hans rahey they, agar mere peir hotey to main tab bhi wahan se bhaag khada hota, lekin main majboor tha, ki main ek lota tha,

Doosri subah jab us masoom ki laash ko jalaney ke liye le jaa rahey they, to doosri aurat ne aankh bacha kar mujhey apney jholey mein daal liya, wahi jisney meri moti malkin ko apni bahu ko marney ki salah di thi usi ne uskey ghar par mauka dekh kar haath safai bhi dikha di, aur me aasmaan se gira khazoor me atka wali tarz par us mahila ke jholey me jaa gira jismey aur bhi samaan pada tha.

Lekin me us aurat ke paas bhi zyada der nahi raha, ho sakta hai iskey peechey meri drid ichchashakti ka bhi haath raha ho, halaanki kisi lotey ki ichcha kya aur shakti kaisi. Lekin meri thi. aur bahut badhiya thi kyunki mujhey us mahila se fauran hi chutkara mil gaya, Churaye huey samaan ka jhola lekar woh mahila kahin jaaney ke liye ek auto par baithi, aur woh kisi red light par ruka to ek uthaigirey ne auto se woh jhola paar kar liya, aur is tarah mujhey lagbhag fauran hi us mahila se chutkaara mil gaya.

To be continued in Part Two....

“THEY SIT AND WAIT FOR THEIR DAILY FORTUNE”

Tahiba Khan

That appealing gaze bounds you to look back again. Eyes speaks the silence of past which creates noise and chaos in mind. Life which has seen decades of trouble and has born the burden of past and still carrying it on...

Sitting on a platter they wait for their daily’s fortune. There is no horoscope for them. No zodiac sign work for them and no stars.

Outside the GTB metro station, sitting in a line with 2 -3 groups with a polythene bag carrying brushes, colors, hammers and trowel…age may vary. There are young and old too. These are daily wage earners. Talking, chatting and waiting for work. Young married at younger age…

With dawn they also arrive there, at their free market and sit till afternoon at the same place. They wait for middleman, tout or contractor. Contractor earns for their labour. They live with their labor… the only private property to them. Here for the workers demands and supply theory works. Demands are more and supply is less, so wages are… demands of these workers show the scale of poverty. These earners live in slums and many are homeless living in streets, roads…platforms etc. They sit to buy themselves as commodity. They didn’t get enough to feed their stomach at the rural landscape, so they are here. Urban space has sorts of demands of these workers. They have migrated into the city because they hadn’t got enough in villages. In villages despite the low wages they have to bear master’s brutal behaviors, and encountered caste violence. They were not paid at time and proper wages are to their work. But due to intensive migration of workers it created lots of competition in the cities too. When I interviewed them I came to know that they are from landless class. These creatures migrated from Bihar, Rajasthan, Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh in search of work. Some are landless laborer some have tiny land in villages. The land that is insufficient to run their households. But due these social, economical, political conditions they were forced to migrate to the cities. The choice they made but not voluntarily. They don’t have BPL card. No Ration card. Instead of providing food for them government harass them. When asked about the government role in their life. They reply in silence. They left their families back at villages. Some got them too for work. They work here too, as maid or workers at construction site. Their daughters and sons don’t go to school. Everyone has story of suffering? Why they are suffering? The religions say it is their Karma which landed them there. They feel no sense of belonging here in urban space. They don’t like their work. The money they get is not enough. If somebody gets ill it becomes harder for them to get any treatment. They either don’t go for check up if go then to a private one. Government hospitals are not easily available. As they don’t have permanent proof, they don’t have any of the cards by the government, they don’t get any subsidies. Life for them is miserable. They live to work again for next day. Their daily wage is 100 or less. Some time they don’t get work and left leisure. Inflation kills them. They can’t spend for bus fares so they walk to their destination. Recent Affidavit by Planning Commission to SUPREME COURT put that individual who earns more than Rs.32 in urban sector and Rs.26 at rural sector is above poverty line. This seems completely farce. These are our ministers who make policies in the name of poor and generate fund. NREGA have came and failed in many states. Rural guarantee scheme came and malfunctioned. Instead of working over roots cause of poverty the government is increasing the BPL. There is a need to understand the root cause of the poverty. Some laws are there but proper implementation of the policies is not visible. Corruption has gripped the entire structure of the country. Structural changes also increased the corruption.

FROM STATE TO RELIGION TO GENDER

Tahiba Khan

Some months back, I visited Kashmir the ‘conflict place’, and more than conflict it is known to people as the heaven on earth because of its elegant geography.

I started my journey all alone, I wanted to know Kashmir. After a tedious discussion with my parents, we somehow reached a positive conclusion and I was on my way. Kashmir was in my thoughts from the time I watched Jashn-e-Azadi the film by SANJAY KAK which introduced me to "The Kashmir".

In a programme organised by teachers and students on killing & disappearing in Kashmir at Delhi School of Economics, over a discussion with Kashmiri writer and student, one Delhi student asserted and said “Pakistan is an artificial country and we will not allow this to happen to Kashmir, so NO Azaadi for them”. Instead apparently the better solution that one day Kashmir will be left with not a single Kashmiri life!

The baggage of all these made my journey possible. Finally, I made up my mind to travel to Kashmir which in any case, would not have been possible if I didn’t have a friend from Kashmir. His parents allowed me to stay in their home even after knowing that I was coming alone. Though they raised questions as to how a girl was coming alone. How could a girl’s parents have allowed this?

I went to TIS HAZAARI to reserve a ticket from SRTC. I approached the ticket counter; it was closed. After waiting for sometime a man entered. He stared at me, the gaze that I resisted, but didn't come onto any conclusion about men from Kashmir in general. After a couple of minutes he asked my name and enquired about me. I told him that I'm a student of Delhi University and going to see Kashmir. Then he provided me the ticket for next to next day and said "lets meet up for dinner tomorrow! I asked why? He read my body language as I hadn't reciprocated." I was thinking, how easy it is for people to say these things if a girl belongs to DU.

And then I reached Srinagar, the hot bed for protest and dissent. Through the way to home I saw army's bunkers, walls on which the graffitis expressing Kashmiri’s protest like GO INDIA GO”, WE WANT FREEDOM has been scrolled. The road was broken, the glasses of the homes and shops were also broken. Many houses were empty. Once open a time Kashmiri Pandits used to live in these houses. They remain empty and nobody has thought of living up there as their Jameer doesn’t allow them to do so. But some bought it from their masters & some had been occupied by the army. Empty and dead houses still remember their inhabitants to look upon…

After spending a night in Srinagar, we left for Barmulla along with his two friends. Throughout the way I saw lots of army camps along the crowded roads. The roads were crowded with army trucks full of Indian Jawans pointing guns at you. My friend warned me not to look at them, which could land us in trouble. I was surprised and felt furious about this. One has to restrain himself/herself even a harmless, plutonic, careless, taken for granted expression of oneself. Leave the other activities. It’s easy to talk about and protest about democracy in other parts where you have choices to do that, though protests at other parts in mainland India are usually ignored by the Indian state and media. Irom sharmila has been protesting for last 11 years against AFSPA, NBA- fought for many years. Instead Indian state doesn’t hesitate to take armed action against tribal people protesting against land acquisitions, nuclear project, looting of resources. Herein Delhi atleast people have a Jantar Mantar to protest.

In Kashmir due to the presence of AFSPA and PSA, Democracy and freedom of thought doesn’t exist or is unthinkable?? Or it exists only for Indian state!! Democracy is NOT for the people of Kashmir but for the Indian state!

Every expression of life is supervised and restricted with the army’s presence.

Next day with my Kashmiri friend, I travelled to Uri, a border area connecting one part of Kashmir to another. One needs a TRP (Temporary Resident Proof), a proof from the authority to travel further. We stayed at friend’s relative’s home in Uri for a night. While discussing over the dinner his uncle told me that he is from the forest department. He shared his experiences. He talked about how the police encounter innocent youngsters or proves them militants for rewards and promotions, how the ones from poor families are more subjected to these. They don’t have money to bribe the police officers. Some people managed to give and escape though for a short period. They can be caught and killed later! Thus increasing the number of ‘disappearing’ and ‘missing’ and the mass graves in graveyard!

While sitting in restaurant for TRP next morning I with two friends encountered something. Something I never thought of. “We became suspects”. Mr. Akram, a local police caught us, and made us suspect on what basis I still suspect. But according to him we were doing some unusual activity as were having tea and two were smoking! He called one of us outside and enquired about me. He talked to him in abusive language and snatched his identity card. Without informing two of us, they took him to a nearby police station. After a while he called the other friend of mine and behaved the same way and did the same. I was wondering that what is going on. Mr. Akram called me in a corner. He asked my name? Again he asked Where from you have come? Why you have come? Who were they? I said they are my friends and we stayed at one of the friend’s relative’s home last night, you can call and ask. He didn’t listen and asked me to come to the police station. After a meeting with the SHO, when we proved ourselves by calling up my friend’s they left us. We had been stopped many times during the way back home. This becomes a part of their life. Oppressive and intimate at the same time!! Many a times, young, old, women being stopped and interrogated by the Army! That was oppressive for me too. That’s why they are protesting…. We left for home.

Over the talk with women I realized that women have been forced to wear a veil, which wasn’t part their tradition earlier-they have now accepted it. Even at their home they cover their head with a Dupatta, and tied their hair. No freedom over self and body even at home….! It’s not about Kashmir only, it is a part of the conservative nature of the families in mainland India too; whether a Muslim or a Hindu family.

While returning after meeting the professor, we boarded a bus. The bus was packed and we were standing, a gentlemen wearing a pant and shirt tapped my back and gave me his seat. I was obliged by his behavior but was cautious about his looks. I was wearing a jeans and long kurta with a dupatta on my shoulder. He sat behind me. After a while he asked “ARE U A MUSLIM?” THOUGH I DIDN’T WANT TO REPLY BUT I REPLIED YES I’M!!(I was fed up of this question, as if religion is the only identity). He said “why you are not having your dupatta on your head”. I replied “mai dupatta sar par nahin leti”. He started scolding me by saying how he could offer seat to such a girl who does not cover her head, that he did a mistake! Then another man stood up and sentenced that I’m not in the domain of Islam. I still question do they are! Does Allah say to behave with a woman in this manner? And they continued abusing me for a long time...

In a short period of time I experienced everything from State repression to religious and sexual harassment, and I think why to fight only against the State, why not against these issues which are equally important!!