FROM STATE TO RELIGION TO GENDER

Tahiba Khan

Some months back, I visited Kashmir the ‘conflict place’, and more than conflict it is known to people as the heaven on earth because of its elegant geography.

I started my journey all alone, I wanted to know Kashmir. After a tedious discussion with my parents, we somehow reached a positive conclusion and I was on my way. Kashmir was in my thoughts from the time I watched Jashn-e-Azadi the film by SANJAY KAK which introduced me to "The Kashmir".

In a programme organised by teachers and students on killing & disappearing in Kashmir at Delhi School of Economics, over a discussion with Kashmiri writer and student, one Delhi student asserted and said “Pakistan is an artificial country and we will not allow this to happen to Kashmir, so NO Azaadi for them”. Instead apparently the better solution that one day Kashmir will be left with not a single Kashmiri life!

The baggage of all these made my journey possible. Finally, I made up my mind to travel to Kashmir which in any case, would not have been possible if I didn’t have a friend from Kashmir. His parents allowed me to stay in their home even after knowing that I was coming alone. Though they raised questions as to how a girl was coming alone. How could a girl’s parents have allowed this?

I went to TIS HAZAARI to reserve a ticket from SRTC. I approached the ticket counter; it was closed. After waiting for sometime a man entered. He stared at me, the gaze that I resisted, but didn't come onto any conclusion about men from Kashmir in general. After a couple of minutes he asked my name and enquired about me. I told him that I'm a student of Delhi University and going to see Kashmir. Then he provided me the ticket for next to next day and said "lets meet up for dinner tomorrow! I asked why? He read my body language as I hadn't reciprocated." I was thinking, how easy it is for people to say these things if a girl belongs to DU.

And then I reached Srinagar, the hot bed for protest and dissent. Through the way to home I saw army's bunkers, walls on which the graffitis expressing Kashmiri’s protest like GO INDIA GO”, WE WANT FREEDOM has been scrolled. The road was broken, the glasses of the homes and shops were also broken. Many houses were empty. Once open a time Kashmiri Pandits used to live in these houses. They remain empty and nobody has thought of living up there as their Jameer doesn’t allow them to do so. But some bought it from their masters & some had been occupied by the army. Empty and dead houses still remember their inhabitants to look upon…

After spending a night in Srinagar, we left for Barmulla along with his two friends. Throughout the way I saw lots of army camps along the crowded roads. The roads were crowded with army trucks full of Indian Jawans pointing guns at you. My friend warned me not to look at them, which could land us in trouble. I was surprised and felt furious about this. One has to restrain himself/herself even a harmless, plutonic, careless, taken for granted expression of oneself. Leave the other activities. It’s easy to talk about and protest about democracy in other parts where you have choices to do that, though protests at other parts in mainland India are usually ignored by the Indian state and media. Irom sharmila has been protesting for last 11 years against AFSPA, NBA- fought for many years. Instead Indian state doesn’t hesitate to take armed action against tribal people protesting against land acquisitions, nuclear project, looting of resources. Herein Delhi atleast people have a Jantar Mantar to protest.

In Kashmir due to the presence of AFSPA and PSA, Democracy and freedom of thought doesn’t exist or is unthinkable?? Or it exists only for Indian state!! Democracy is NOT for the people of Kashmir but for the Indian state!

Every expression of life is supervised and restricted with the army’s presence.

Next day with my Kashmiri friend, I travelled to Uri, a border area connecting one part of Kashmir to another. One needs a TRP (Temporary Resident Proof), a proof from the authority to travel further. We stayed at friend’s relative’s home in Uri for a night. While discussing over the dinner his uncle told me that he is from the forest department. He shared his experiences. He talked about how the police encounter innocent youngsters or proves them militants for rewards and promotions, how the ones from poor families are more subjected to these. They don’t have money to bribe the police officers. Some people managed to give and escape though for a short period. They can be caught and killed later! Thus increasing the number of ‘disappearing’ and ‘missing’ and the mass graves in graveyard!

While sitting in restaurant for TRP next morning I with two friends encountered something. Something I never thought of. “We became suspects”. Mr. Akram, a local police caught us, and made us suspect on what basis I still suspect. But according to him we were doing some unusual activity as were having tea and two were smoking! He called one of us outside and enquired about me. He talked to him in abusive language and snatched his identity card. Without informing two of us, they took him to a nearby police station. After a while he called the other friend of mine and behaved the same way and did the same. I was wondering that what is going on. Mr. Akram called me in a corner. He asked my name? Again he asked Where from you have come? Why you have come? Who were they? I said they are my friends and we stayed at one of the friend’s relative’s home last night, you can call and ask. He didn’t listen and asked me to come to the police station. After a meeting with the SHO, when we proved ourselves by calling up my friend’s they left us. We had been stopped many times during the way back home. This becomes a part of their life. Oppressive and intimate at the same time!! Many a times, young, old, women being stopped and interrogated by the Army! That was oppressive for me too. That’s why they are protesting…. We left for home.

Over the talk with women I realized that women have been forced to wear a veil, which wasn’t part their tradition earlier-they have now accepted it. Even at their home they cover their head with a Dupatta, and tied their hair. No freedom over self and body even at home….! It’s not about Kashmir only, it is a part of the conservative nature of the families in mainland India too; whether a Muslim or a Hindu family.

While returning after meeting the professor, we boarded a bus. The bus was packed and we were standing, a gentlemen wearing a pant and shirt tapped my back and gave me his seat. I was obliged by his behavior but was cautious about his looks. I was wearing a jeans and long kurta with a dupatta on my shoulder. He sat behind me. After a while he asked “ARE U A MUSLIM?” THOUGH I DIDN’T WANT TO REPLY BUT I REPLIED YES I’M!!(I was fed up of this question, as if religion is the only identity). He said “why you are not having your dupatta on your head”. I replied “mai dupatta sar par nahin leti”. He started scolding me by saying how he could offer seat to such a girl who does not cover her head, that he did a mistake! Then another man stood up and sentenced that I’m not in the domain of Islam. I still question do they are! Does Allah say to behave with a woman in this manner? And they continued abusing me for a long time...

In a short period of time I experienced everything from State repression to religious and sexual harassment, and I think why to fight only against the State, why not against these issues which are equally important!!