Kapil Sharma
Ab police waaley ke quarter me rahna kaisa hota hai yeh wahi jaan sakta hai jo khud us quarter me raha ho. meri police walon se koi dosti ya prem nahi hai, lekin fir bhi ek baat kahni padegi, ki jis amanviya tarikey se rahatey hain unmey to koi bhi vahashi ho jayega. thaney ke apney jeevan me mainey bahut police waalon ko dekha, Jab aatey hain to bahut achchey se baat kartey hain, lekin jald hi manviya trasdi ke prati unka ravaiyz aisa thanda ho jaata hai ki, lagta hi nahi ki woh insaan hain, lagta tha ki jis tarah hamari dalai hoti hai, usi tarah police walon ko bhi us saanchey me dhaala jaata hai jismey woh bina koi sawaal kiye, achcha bura sochey samjhey woh kar dein jo unsey karney ko kaha jaye.
Ab police waaley ke quarter me rahna kaisa hota hai yeh wahi jaan sakta hai jo khud us quarter me raha ho. meri police walon se koi dosti ya prem nahi hai, lekin fir bhi ek baat kahni padegi, ki jis amanviya tarikey se rahatey hain unmey to koi bhi vahashi ho jayega. thaney ke apney jeevan me mainey bahut police waalon ko dekha, Jab aatey hain to bahut achchey se baat kartey hain, lekin jald hi manviya trasdi ke prati unka ravaiyz aisa thanda ho jaata hai ki, lagta hi nahi ki woh insaan hain, lagta tha ki jis tarah hamari dalai hoti hai, usi tarah police walon ko bhi us saanchey me dhaala jaata hai jismey woh bina koi sawaal kiye, achcha bura sochey samjhey woh kar dein jo unsey karney ko kaha jaye.
woh
police waala kafi samajhdaar aur hoshiyaar tha, bahut zyada ishwar bhakt nahi
tha, 4-5 din me ek baar usey pooja karney ka time milta tha aur usi time me woh
mujhmey paani bharke aise hi kahin bhi ek dhaar me pani girata tha aur hothon
me kuch budbudata hua apni puja poori kar leta tha.
par
zyadatar duty par rahata tha, kabhi quarter aata bhi tha to sirf peeth sidhi
karney, ya fir raat ko soney. Raat ko soney se pahaley daaru ke kuch peg jaroor
lagata tha, (ek baat jo mainey kisi ko nahi batai, aap bhi kisi ko mat
bataiega, "raat ko usey burey sapney dikhtey they aur woh bhayanak darta
tha") khair, pahali baar daaru ka swad mainey wahin chakha tha,
Ek
baar uska koi dost chaabi lekar quarter mein aaya tha, uskey saath masum sa ek
bachcha bhi tha, bachcha behad dara hua tha, lekin tab tak meri aadat ho gayi
thi, thaaney me police aur neta ki vardi ke bina jo bhi shakhs jaata hai woh
dara hua hi hota hai. khair us police waley ne ladkey ko doosrey kamrey me bhej
diya aur phir saari botal daaru mere andar daal ke ek gilas me dali aur pita
raha, phir jab usey achcha khasa nasha ho gaya to andar se ladkey ke chikhney
ki aawaz aaney lagi.
kafi
der baad woh police waala bahar aaya aur baaki bachi daaru khatam karkey wahin
pasar gaya, raat bhar us ladkey ke roney ki aawazye aati rahi, mai thaney me hi
rahta tha isliye logon ke roney ki chikhney chillaney ki aawazein to aati hi
rahati thi, lekin uskey quarter me aisa pahli baar hua tha, lekin phir to ye
lagbhag roz ka kaam ban gaya. raat ko mujhmey daaru dhali jaati thi aur subah
jab me nashey se poori tarah bahar bhi nahi aaya hota tha to mujhmey paani
bharke mujhey "surya ko ardhya" diya jaata tha. khai mujhey kya,
waisey bhi ab to mujhey lagta hai ki suraj ko subah-subah daaru ka hi ardhya
dena chahiye. ha ha ha ha
Roz
koi na koi police waala kisi na kisi bachchey ko oakad kar lata tha aur usey
doosrey kamrey me bhej kar daaru pita tha, fir doosrey kamrey me chala jaata
tha, aur fir bachchey ke chikhney ki aawazein, kabhi kabhi woh bachchiyon ko
bhi latey the, aur kabhi ek se zyada police waaley hotey they, lekin kuch dino
baad me shaklein dhekna bhool gaya, mujhey laga ki mei andha ho gaya hun, lekin
baki cheezein to mujhey bilkul saaf dikhai deti thi, kamra, police walon ki vardi
bachchey-bachchiyon ke darey huey masoom cherey, bas police walon ke cheherey
hi nahi dhikhai dete they, bas unki vardiyan dikhti thi.
fir
ek din unhoney bhi ek kaand kar daala, us quarte me bachchon ko laakar woh jo
harkatein kartey they unsey kisi bachchey ki maut ho gayi, aur fir hadkamp mach
gaya, akhbaar, TV sabney cheekh-cheekh kar police ki amanviyata ki duhai dii
(huh, jaisey issey pahley police kabhi manviya rahi thi, arey bhai police force
banaaney ka ek matra lakshya, aur uddeshya hai ammeron ki s ki duhai dii (huh,
jaisey issey pahley police kabhi manviya rahi thi, arey bhai police force
banaaney ka ek matra lakshya, aur uddeshya hai ammeron ki sewa me garibon ko
kuchal dena, kabhi yeh kaam dhankey chupey kiya jaata hai, to kabhi saamney aa
jaata hai, ismey itna ho halla machaney ki kya zaroorat hai, aur woh garib
bastiyon me rahney waaley kuda uthaney waley bachchey-bachchiyan hi to the,
unkey saath kuch hua to 100-200 ka muawaza de do, aur baat ko rafa dafa karo,
itni si baat ke liye bahadur police ko kyun suspend aur inquari jaisi cheezon
ka dar dikhatey ho) SHO ko suspend kar diya aur kuch police walon ko girftaar
kar liya.
aur
mujhey, mujhey maalkhaney ki jagah sadak par fenk diya gaya.
baat
yun hui ki kuch media walon ne kaha tha ki police station me daaru ka dhandha
hota hai, aur koi inquayri committee baith gayi thi, us team ka inspection hona
tha, aur police walon ke paas itna time nahi tha ki woh mujhey dho ke saaf kar
patey to kisi ne mujhey khidki se bahar yani, thaney se bahar fenk diya. HA HA
HA HA HA, mei thaney se sahi salama bahar aa gaya tha, aur sivaye kuch
bhavnatmak gandgi ke, mujhey koi nuksan bhi nahi hua tha, yeh to chamatkaar hi
tha, ha ha ha ha..................
aur is
baar mujhey uthaya, ek bhikhari ne, woh lakdi ki neechi si gaadi par baitha
dono pairon se laachar bhikari jiska naam tha mohammad altaf......
Kya
kismat payi thi mainey, kahan to mazdooron ke saath rahata tha, fir unkey
hatyarey ne mera istemaal kiya aur ab me
ek aisey shakhs ke paas tha jisey aap prachalit samajik bhasha me bhikari
kahtey ho, aur yahan mujhey pata chal ki ek communist se zyada kisi bhi cheez
ka bahupyog aur kun jaanta hoga, bhai fakiru, ( mei usey isi naamse pukarunga
kyunki, yeh uska prachalit naam tha) to bhai fakiru ne mujhey apna gharbaar man
liya tha, woh khatey bhi mujhmey they, peetey bhi mujhmey they, aur aksar
dhotey bhi mujhey hi they.
Is
sabsey mujhey koi naitik eitraz nahi tha, kyunki aakhir mera kaam to uskey kaam
aana tha jiskey haath me mei tha (jaiisey mei koi aladin ka chirag houn aur
mujhey ghis kar mera malik, jo chahey maang le). khair in baaton ko karney ka
kya fayda, me ek lota tha jisey miyan fakiru ne balti, gilas, plate aur toilet
ki botle garchey ki har cheez ki tarah istemaal karkey dekh kiya tha, me unki
aswabhawik apekshaon me khara utra tha aur woh lagataar apni aur aswahawik
ichchyen mujh par laadtey jaa rahey they.
unki
zindgi sach mein bahut khubsoorat zindgi thi, woh din me bakaydgi se 8 ghantey
kaam kartey they, is field me bahut puraney aur experienced yani anubhavi they,
isliyw naye khiladyon yni bhikario ki tarah bahut sabar ke saath bheekh mangey
they. subah 8.30 se 11.30 jab logon ke office jaaney ka time hota hai, aur sham
ko 4.30 se 8.30 jab logon ke office e lautney ka time hota hai, unka kahna tha
ki bheekh mangna unka shauk nahi pesha tha, aur isey woh ek career ki hi tarah
letey they, unki apni kholi thi jismey woh bakaayda khaana banatey they, chai
banatey they aur apney sahkarmion ke saath hansi mazaak kartey they ya
naushikhiyon ko apney anubhav batatey they. unkey yahan TV tha, VCD player tha,
aur baaki suvidhaon ki bhi koi kami nahi thi.
woh
subah naashta karkey nikltey they time par apney thikaney pahunch jaatey they,
aur kaam khatam karkey seedha ghar wapas, kabhi dil kiya to market ki taraf
nikal jaatey they aur chai pitey huey, logon se baat kartey huey wapas ghar aa
jaatey they, aisey hi ek market daurey par me unsey mila tha.
main
unkey liye prized possesion tha, aur woh badey garv se mera pradarshan kya
kartey they, lekin mujhey aajtak yeh samajh me nahi aaya ki unhoney mujhey
kabhi ghar par kyun nahi rakha, woh kaam par niklney se pahlley apna saazo
saaman jaroor sambhaltey they, aur usmey bhi yeh zaroor dekhtey they ki mei
unkey paas hun ya nahi, kabhi-kabhi to woh mujhey bheek mangney ke katorey ki
tarah bhi istemaal kartey they.
Jaanboojhkar
gandey rahtey they, aur iskey alawaa unhoney ek khaas stretagy apna rakhi thi,
woh kabhi daya ka bhav dikha kar bheek nahi mangtey they, balki apney chehrey
par aisa bhav le aatey they jaisy, unki taangey kat gayi hain, ismey un logon
ka haat hai, jo unkey saamney se gujar rahey hain. aisey mei guilt ka maarey
log unhey paisey de hi dete they. iskey alawaa unhoney apney kuch pucca clients
bhi bana rakhey they jo bina laag lapet
key unhey paisey de detey the, yeh aisa hi tha jaisey kuch log ek khaas mandir
ko apna maan letey they aur fir jo bhi daaan dena ho usi mandir me diya jata tha.
iskey
alawa unhey ' jaisa ki unhoney pahley hi soch rakha tha, is profession se mahal
bananey ka koi irada nahi tha aur rozi-roti layak woh kama lete they. jitney
samay me unkey saath raha meiney apni halat ke saath ek sufi samjhauta kar liya
tha, jaisa tu chahey waisa chala, terey siva koi na mera, yeh geet ishwar ke
liye nahi tha balki, fakiru bhai ke liye tha, aap mujhmey khaiye, nahaiye,
dhoiye aur ho sakey to mere upar so jaiye, me kuch nahi kahunga, ye saadhu
jaisa nirmohi bhav mujhey unsey hi mila tha, aur din isi gangi me beet rahey
they, ya kahiye kat rahey they.
fir
ek din aapki daya se mujhey fakiru bhai se nizaat mil gayi, hua yun ki woh
apney ek gahak se paise le rahey they ki police waaley aa gaye, aur bhikari
bhaag gaye lekin fakiru bhai to fakiru bhai they, woh nahi bhagey, aur police
waalon ne unhey pakad liya, jis police waaley ne unhey pakda woh surat se hi
kaaiyan lagney wala phoolsingh naam ka tondiyal hawaldaar tha, usney badi
besharmi se fakiru bhai se rishwat mangi, aur saaf-saaf shamki de dali ki agar
uaki rishwat ki maangg puri nahi hui to woh fkiru bhai ko beggers home me khana
bananey laga dega, ab fakiru bhai ko to daya aur peeda ka bhav chehrey par
laana bhi nahi aata tha, aur paisey unkey paas they nahi, marta kya na karta ke
andaaz meI unhoney Phoolsingh ke saath mera sauda kar liya, aur is tarah me bahut
bahrey man se (fakiru bhai ke bharey man se) Poolsingh ke pass chala gaya
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